Not a Normal Christmas
by CrazyPerson2671
Summary: Based on the Intermissions of the story MINE! Me,Nick and the characters are celabrating Christmas together in the same weird way you know us for! With more Chippy, Christine bashing, Raoul as a tranny, Erik going crazy and yes you'll finaly get to see what the Rock Candy Glaxy looks like! If ya can handle the crazyness then read on!A Crack-fanfic from your's turly and her bro!FIN!
1. So it Begins

**Chapter One**

**In the begining...**

**Me: Merry Christmas Dudes and Dudetts!**

**Juleit: Why are you doing a Christmas thing?**

**Erik: And when the drama of the other story is bulding up!**

**Juliet: To you it is, to me it's Sunday night.**

**Me: Amen! *Erik glaring at us swing his lasso around.* Don't make me send Chippy on you! *Then the chipmonks pokes his head out of my hair and waves at Erik, then Erik runs away screaming like a little girl.* **

**Nadir: Wonder where he went.**

**IN THE SHOWER!-**

**Erik is curlled up in a ball with cold water coming down on him and yes he is still in his clothes! Perverts. : Chippy. *Shurders*. Twinkie. *Shurders, and in a low voice.* Honey glazed buns...**

**Me: Eh, where ever he is he better not be talking about deserts. now to the point, I figured we need to do something Christmas like cause I'm really like writing in "Intermission" style. So I figured, why not?**

**Nick: this is gonna be fun!**

**Me: Yep, we're even gonna vist the Rock Candy Galxy! But sadly not Hobo Land.**

**nick: I heard it was because the Queen got into a fight with Lady M. Raoul.**

**Juliet: Who's the queen?**

**Me and Nick: Ke$ha.**

**Nadir: Pfff. Figures.**

**Me*Rolling my eyes.*: So typical of you girl.**

**Nick: Giiiiiirrrrl!**

**Lady M. Raoul: I heard someone talking like a drag queen so I came.**

**Me: where's Elvis?**

**Lady M. Raoul: Oh, I dumped him and back with the Opera Trash.**

**Christine aka Opera Trash: I AM NOT-**

**Me*Pulling ut a poster of 1D.*: Exbihat B.**

**Christine: COME HERE! *Tackles the poster and starts to make out with it.***

**Nadir: She needs some help.**

**Juliet*Pulling out a nuclar powered bazuca.*: she NEEDS TO DIE!**

**Me*Slaps the wepon out of her hand with a ruler.*: No! Bad Juliet! Bad!**

**Erik*Coming out of the shower in wet clothes.*: So when will this crazy event begin my dear Crazy?**

**Me: Eh, I'll start it in the next chapter only if the veiwers want to see it...**

**Juliet*Grabing the camra and yelling at it.*: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEEEEAAASE REVIEW AND SAY YA WANT TO SEE IT OR *Now in a evil voice with a bloody chain saw.* I'LL FIND YOU! *Eye twitches.***

**Nadir: Yep, she is spending way to much time with you.**

**Me: Says my secraty. Anyway, more crazy crap soon to come! And in the next chapter we're gonna go Christmas tree hunting!**

**Erik: you mean cutting on down right? RIGHT?!**

**Me: ahhhh, no. I literally mean we're hunting for a Christmas tree. *Pulls out a rifle and loads it up.* La-duh, bub. See ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	2. Erik Got Ran Over by a Christmas Tree!

**Chapter Two**

**Erik Got Ran Over by a Christmas Tree!**

**Me:Chitty, chitty bang bang! Hey ho!**

**Nick: SLOW DOWN WOMAN!**

**Me: NEEEEVVVER! *Well as you may know I am driving my MONSTER TRUCK like Ace Ventura.***

**Erik: I'm gonna puke! **

**Chippy*Pops out from behind Erik and say in a deep voice like a black guy*: Hey dude!**

**Erik: AHHHH! *Jumps into Juliet's lap like a scared little girl, now in a high girly voice.*PROTECT MY TWINKIE! **

**Juliet: I'm in love with an idot.**

**Nick: Thats the least of our problems.**

**Me: CHIIIIITTTTYYYYYYYYYYY!**

**Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!**

** *I dirve of a cliff and we toppling to our doom...BUT! Like they always do, MONSTER TRUCKS land on their wheels! Once we landed somewhat safly I step on the gas and speed towards the snowy woods.***

**Me: Ah the woods!**

**Nadir and Erik: thank God/Allha!**

**Nick: I thought Erik didn't believe in God?**

**Erik: Let'snotchangethesubject!**

**Me: Now if I could just find a parking spot!**

**Erik: Shouldn't we slow down?!**

**Me: NON SENSE POOPY MASK!**

**Juliet: *Sniff, sniff* Your mask does smell...**

**Then I end up flipping the car, people scream in terror as I laughed like the crazy person I am! It says so as my auther name. *Roll, roll, roll, crash, roll, hit a chicken nugget, roll! ANNNNNND!...Land.***

**Me*Pokes my head out of the vehical*: Like a gllloooove!**

**Erik*Leaps out*: I WILL NEVER! EVER GO INTO A VEHICAL WITH THAT WOMAN DRIVING WITH A CREEPY CHIPMUNK WHO CALLS EVEYBODY WILLIS!**

**Chippy*popping out of Erik's wig.*: What you talkin' about Willis?**

**Erik: AHHHHH! *Running around in circles.* EVIL CHIPMUNK! EVIL CHIP TO DA MUNK! AHHHHH!**

**Chippy: Weeeee! Get along little poney named Willis!**

**Juliet: Awwww. Their bonding!**

**Nadir: It's a good thing I'm getting this on tape. *Recording it with his phone, yeah! I got them phones. Nick: Stole them more like it. Me: FUN SUCKER!***

**Me: Okay ladies and Chipmunks. *Cocking the rifle with awesome sunglasses on!* Let's. Do. This.**

**Erik and Chippy: AHHHH! BIG STICK THAT GOES BOOM BOOM!**

**Nadir: You should be afraid of the person who's holding it.**

**Me: Follow me if you want an awesome Christmas tree! *Then a tuna fish sandwhich majicly appears and we jump on it.* Hi ho sandwhich! Away! *So we fly on the majical sandwhich untill we come to a clearing.* wow, easy little tuna! (That belongs to Penguins of Madgascar, sorry but King Julian cracks me up!) *We all hope off and Chippy eats the whole thing in one bite.***

**Juliet: so how are we-**

**Me: Shhh! Get down! **

**We all get down and see...Wild mushtaches! There mushtaches with no faces to hold onto so they wander around, and among them we see...Adolf Hitler Mustache.**

**Me*Running to Hitler Mustache with a axe.*: DIE!**

**Hitlers Mustache: EEEEEEEEPPPP! *Then I chop it up till it is nothing but hair and is covered in mustache wax, which is blood in the mustache world.***

**Nick: She really hates Hitler...**

**Me*In a dark voice*: And his mushtace!**

**Juliet: I think we can see that kid.**

**Nadir: so where does the gun come in?**

**Nick: As soon as we find the Crocidle Hunter!**

**Erik: I dare to ask, why?**

**Nick: During this time of the year the Christmas Tree's heard into a n=big opening and the Wild Mustaches try to kill em!**

**Since the fictional chracters are looking at us like O_O, I explain.**

**Me: Wild Mushtaces are Christmas Tree's natural enamies.**

**So we walk around till we hear an annoying Astrailan voice.**

**C.H: and watch as the Wild Mustaches attack the helpless sapling who wandered away from the heard!**

**We turn to see a really tiny looking tree getting pined down and attacked by the visous pack of Mustaches.**

**Nick: It was so cute... YOU HAD TO POINT IT OUT! DIE! *Runs at the Coricdile Hunter and kills him Lizzy Borden stlye!***

**Me: He really hates that guy.**

**Nick: Annoying voice wakes me up to early...*Grumble, grumble.***

**Erik and Juliet: Note to self; play organ not so loud...or have sex not to loud.**

**Me: Enough of this! Time to get a good tree.**

**Nick: I'll like the Green Fren.**

**Erik: The blue one looks cool...**

**Juliet: why did we ride a sandwhich?...**

**Nadir: I should really call my mommie...**

**Me: CHOSED ONE! *then I pulled the trigger and start shooting, but I missed a few time so the herd went running or hopping towards us. But I got one and it came falling...***

**Juliet Nadir Nick and Me: TIMBER! *We moved out of the way, but Erik who got ran over by a Christmas tree...I feel a song coming on!***

**Naidr: _Erik got ran over by a Christmas tree..._**

**Juliet: _While walking threw the woods abunchofdaysbefore Christmas Eve..._**

**Nick: _I think Erik needs a hospitle..._**

**Me: _Na, he looks okay to me..._**

**Chippy*whos is playing the tamborin.*: SING IT WILLIS!**

**Me, Nick, Nadir and Juliet: _Erik got ran over by a Christmas Tree..._**

**Erik from underneath the tree.: SHUT UP!**

******Me, Nick, Nadir and Juliet:** _While walking threw the woods abunchofdaysbefore Christmas eve!..._

**Erik: I MEAN IT!**

******Me, Nick, Nadir and Juliet:**_ I think Erik needs a hospitle..._

**Erik: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DO!**

******Me, Nick, Nadir and Juliet:**_ Na he looks fine to meeee e eeeee e e!_

**Erik: That wasn't half bad...NOW GET THIS OVER GROWN BUSH OFF OF ME BEFORE I STRING YOU ALL UP!**

**After that we dragged the tree and Erik back to the MONSTER TRUCK.**

**Nick: So how are we gonna keep it tied to the top.**

**Me*With an evil grin.*: I got an idea! *We all slowly turn to Erik.***

**Erik: WHAT?!**

**15 minutes later-**

**Erik: GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!**

**Me: Nope.**

**Erik is tied to the top of the MONSTER TRUCK along with the Christmas tree and Chippy.**

**Erik: Why am I even up here?!**

**Nick: cause you didn't hand the lasso up!**

**Juliet: Shoulda listen to her Erik.**

**Chippy: HI WILLIS!**

**Erik: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET ME THE FREAKIN HELL OUT OF HERE!**

**Me: Hoped ya'll liked it! If ya did review, if you hate it you'll join Erik up on my MONSTER TRUCK!...I feel a song coming on agian!**

**Me, Nick, Juliet and Nadir: _Erik is tied to a Christmas Tree... Ontop of the roof of this MONSTER TRUCK... You can say we're curel...But we say he's out of luck!_**

**Erik: HELP MEEEEE!**

**Me: See ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	3. Deck the halls w Press and a Gorilla!

**Chapter Three**

**Deck The Halls with the Presdents and a Gorilla.**

**Me: GUYS GET UP!**

**Erik*Jumping ten feet out his bed*: NO MORE CHRISTMAS TREES!**

**Me: Dude, stop being a wuss.**

**Nick: Yeah, she showed me how chestnuts feel over a open fire. *Shuders at me evilness.***

**Juliet: Hey, can girl take a crap in peace?**

**Me: In this house no.**

**Nadir: Well what is it?**

**Nick: Sis and me decided to show you guys one of traditions...**

**NaDIR: Oooohhh, Allha help us now...**

**Me: Oh, trust me! You'll love him!**

**Nadir, Juliet, and Erik: Him?**

**Juliet; If he's not WWE Wrestler then I don't wanna meet him...Or the three stooges...*Evryone looks at her like "say what girl?"* What?! Wrestlers and the three stooges are good lookin!**

**Erik: HEY!**

**Juliet: Erik, in my book your a stooge.**

**Erik: I'll take that as insult...**

**Me; WILL YOU SHUT UP! BUDDY'S CARGO CRAT WILL BE HERE SOON!**

**Juliet: What is Buddy anyway?...**

**Nick: Gorilla a-ho!**

**Juliet, Erik, and Nadir: GORILLA?!**

**Nick: And Abe Linconle and Washington!**

**Nadir: Ahhhh?...**

**Juliet: Ehhhhhhh?!...**

**Erik:...Saywhaaaat?...**

**Me: MY PEOPLE HAVE RETURNED! *We run outside in time to see the Jolly Rodger park in front of my house with :Long John Silver at the wheel or whatever that thing is.* Hi Johnny!**

**Long John: Aye, Cap' Crazy. Tis good to see ya agian after that event in the Coconut Sea!**

**Me: Same here Johnny! Ya'll got me buddies on ya ship?**

**Long John: Tall man, powered boy and a gorilla that play's the gautir?**

**Me: Yepper cokoo!**

**Abe L.: Ah Crazy! Good to see you.**

**Washington: Where's the wood?**

**Buddy-the gorilla: Ohhh, o Ahhh ah! *Then starts playing the Spanish gautir.***

**Nick: I thought the Presdiant's lived in ya thumbs?**

**Me: they do and they still owe me RENT!**

**Abe and Washington: Ahhhhh...**

**Nick: You can give it to her after New Years.**

**The Pres.s: HORRAY!**

**Me: Grrrr! You two are lucky that I like my thumbs.**

**Buddy: Ahhhh! Oooo oo oH AH!**

**Me: Yes the bananas have been deeped fried with the chicken nuggets.**

**Buddy: AH! *Then runs to the kitchen, then we hear Christien who I made my buttler screaming for mercy as Buddy beats her with his spanish gatuir.***

**Long John: I'll see ye all soon!**

**Me: Same too you in normal talk!... now let us start-eth the deckin' da halls.**

**Erik: Does anyone know what she-**

**Washington*with a crazy look in his eye.*: Chop...Wood.**

**Nadir: What?**

**Washington*Now with a huge axe and even crazier lookin*: CHOP! WOOD! AHHHHHH!**

**Nadir and Erik: AHHHHHH! *Then they run for their lives. But soon come back out screaming with a crazed wood chopin pres and a gorilla high on deeped fried bananas on their tails.***

**Abe: Well it's better then last year.**

**Me: Amen to that.**

**Juliet: So, what do we do now?**

**Nick: Let's decorarte the place...GET THE CANNONS AT THE READY!**

**Juliet: What?!**

**Me and Abe pulling out some cannons: FIRE IN THE HOLE!**

**Nick: HIT THE DECK! *then the cannons go off and once the smoke has cleared the house has a bunch of lights on it...But we may have killed the Opera Trash...***

**Christine: I'm still alive!**

**Not for long...**

**Washington*choping the door down and this is like in the shinning*: Heeeerrreee's WASHINGTON!**

**Oper-I mean Christine: AWE SHIT!**

**Me: Well I guess we can call it a day... OH WAIT THE TREE! *We all turn to the tree and it's foaming at the mouth, yes trees do have mouths.* Erik goes first.**

**Erik: WHY ME?**

**Me:Cause your fun to pick on now suck it up and act like a man!**

**Erik slowly makes his way to the tree as we watching in suspense.**

**Juliet: Popcorn anyone?**

**Once Erik is at the tree he slowly reaches out and...**

**Chippy*Poping out of the tree.*: IT'S PENNUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PENNUT BUTTER JELLY! PENNUT BUTTER JELLY WITH A BASE BALL BAT!*He take out a hugh base ball bat and starts hitting Erik with it.***

**Erik: STOP IT!**

**Me: I knew I should have never let that thing watch baseball.**

**Nick: I think we need a anbulance...**

**Me: Na we have a gorilla for that and Buddy...**

**Nadir: HEY!**

**Juliet: Well you are in a gorilla suit...**

**Nadir: Hey, I'll spend my Sunday the way I feel like it. *Then starts eating a deep fried Nanner.***

**Buddy: OOOOOOOOH AH! *Translation: OoooooH Snap!***

**Chippy: I like beating Willis up!**

**Erik: For the last time I'm not wil-**

**Christmas tree comes to live and starts to EAT Erik.**

**Me: NOOOO! I hate that scence in Polotergest.**

**Then Washington breaks through the wall with his axe. :MUST! CHOP! WOOOOOOOOOD! *then for the first time to day he chops something right! After killing the tree once more.. Nick: And hot gluing it back together...Me: GET OUT OF THIS THING!...Back to this, we decorate it with Chippy still beating Erik up...What? Is it a crime to think it's fun to pick on Erik?!***

**Juliet: I think where done...**

**Me: Wait! Abe get ya self ontop of-**

**Abe: already on it! *We all look up to see Mista Abe Lincolne in a white toga-and the tall hat of course, you sill reader- with a torch looking like the satue of liberty on top of the Christmas tree. Do not ask me own a tree held together with gule can hole Abe Lincolne.***

**Juliet: I thought an Angle was suppose to go ontop of that?**

**Nick: We got bored of that.**

**Erik: That dumb!**

**Me: Hey, watch it bub or I'll put you ontop of that thing!**

**Erik: Mep!**

**Me: well thanks for readin! R&r if ya'll liked it, if ya hate it I'll send Mista Crazy Chopper Guy after ya!**

**Washington: MUST CHOP WOOD!**

**Me: Yeah, yeah. Note to self, keep this guy away from South America. We'll see ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	4. Story Time with Uncle Chris

**Chapter Four**

**Story Time with Uncle Chris.**

**Me: Ya sure ya'll know how to use this here oven?**

**Lady M. Raoul: I positve! If I could wear a meat dress, a lobster on my head and be carried inside a egg by hot sexy men I think I can bake some cookies!**

**Me: Point taken. Now let us begin! Okay, we need -**

**Lady M. Raoul*Shoving his fingers at my mouth to shut me up.*: Shhhh! Be quite my dear striaght lady, for I know how to cook!**

**Me*Quickly wiping my mouth of, God knows where his hands have been.*: Whatever man or woman, or whatever you are! But if I find my pet skunk Toe-toe is gone, you'll be dead as that meat dress.**

**Lady M. Raoul: Awwwwe, I was gonna us it for my Skunk Cake.**

**Me:...*SLAP!*...SICK-O! *Walks out of the kitchen just as a gaint alien egg flys into the room.* Okay! Story time with Uncle Chris.**

**Nadir: whose Uncle Chris?**

**Nick: Her...She heard on a t.v show and it stuck.**

**Me: Okay, since I find Erik the most fun to pick on he shall be the first to tell us a story!**

**erik: WHY ARE WE EVEN TELLING STORIES?!**

**Nick: It helps to pass time and help us not think of what hell is goning on through our kitchen.**

***EXPLOSION FROM KITCHEN!***

**Me: I am NOT paying for that!**

**erik: Okay fine! I shall tell you the story of why I don't believe in Santa!**

**Everyone: GASP!**

**Juliet: you don't believe in Santa?!**

**chippy: Why Willis! WHY?!**

**Erik: Everyone shut the frick up so I can start!...Okay, so I was about nine years old and I lost a tooth, so Iwent to sleep and the tooth fairy came...**

_**Flash back!-**_

_**Tooth Fairy: hehehe, more teeth for my dreange fetish!**_

_**Nine year old Erik: Zzzzz...Organ...Zzzz...Creepy monkey music box...Zzzzz...Strippers. *Big perverted smile.***_

_**Tooth Fairy *Shoving her hands under the pillow.*: Com on, where is it?...Ah-ha-!**_

_**Erik*Jumping up with a baseball bat.*: AHHHHH! DIE! DIE EVIL DEMON WHO STEALS MY TEETH FOR HER PLEASURE! DIIIIE!**_

_**Tooth Fairy: Please! I'll give you money!**_

_**Erik: GIVE ME 5 BUCKS!**_

_**Tooth Fairy: I was gonna give you ten, but-**_

_**Erik: AHHHHHH! *jumps ontop of her and starts to beat her with a baseball bat! Chipppy: Peannut butter jelly with a base ball bat! Me: How are you people getting in here! My God, I need to start locking the door...* GIVE ME ALL YOU MONEY! *Then he steals the five buck, funny but she had 1000$ and he took only five. Erik: I WAS NINE! Me: HOW DA FUCK!...GET OUT!***_

_**Pause in Flash Back-**_

**Juliet: WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOU NOT BELIEVING IN SANTA?!**

**Erik: Hold on my love, for it all leads up to the event!**

**Lady M. Raoul: I brought Squid Cookies and Goat Milk!**

**Me: QUICK! BACK TO THE STORY/ FLASH BACK!**

**Erik: After doing some WWE wrestling moves and doing some really creepy things to the lady, I ripped off her wings and flew to the North Pole...*Okay, that was really creepy...***

_**Back to flash Back!-**_

_**Erik: *Pant, pant.* So, *Pant, Pant GASP!* Tried. *Wheezed!* Need, caff-*WHEEEEEEEEZE* ien!**_

_**Then out of no where the coffee fairy flew in front of him and spraded coffee into his mouth from her arm pits -la creepy.**_

_**Erik*On a coffee rush.*: COOOOOOFFFFFFEEEEE! *Then starts to fly really fast at the speed of a tuna fish sandwhich to the North pole! Once there he runs into a elf.***_

_**Elf: Howday there little girl!**_

_**Erik: I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL!**_

_**Elf: Really? It say so on the list.**_

_**Erik*Gasp!*: It say's I'm a girl?...*Quickly checks his pants.*...THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS! *After strangling the elf with his lasso he flys back to his opera house to brad young Madame Giry's arm pit hair.***_

_**Le End!-**_

**Erik: Le End. **

**Everyone: O_O...WTF DUDE/WILLIS!**

**Erik: WHAT?!**

**Me: Ya know what, Imma gonna check on Lady M. Raoul.**

**Nick: you sounded Itlain for a moment there...AND WE AIN'T EVEN RELATED TO ITLAINS!**

**Me: WE'RE ADOPTED!**

**Everyone besides me and Nick: WHAT?!**

**Juliet: so many revoltions!**

**Nadir: Hey, tell us about that Coconut Sea adevnture with Long John. *Think back to the last chapter.***

**Me: Okay fine. It all happen when I was reading Treasure Island for English class and I was on my way to the Rock Candy Galxy...**

_**Another Flash Back!~**_

_**Me: Wow...I wonder if they have fried twinkies on Treasure Island...*Erik: TWINKIES?! "Covers his man hood. Me Can we get through one chapter without you bringing that up?! erik: We did in the last chapter... Me:...True.***_

_**Long John: Aye! Who are ya a wee lass?**_

_**Me: Wow, how the heck did I end up on Priate Planet *The last ture place where parites live with places to rad.* Hmmm. Note to self, do not read and drive a space ship.**_

_**Long John: Whats a space ship?**_

_**Me: Non of your damn bussnees and I would thank you to stay out of my personal life. (that belongs to Ace Ventura.)...Oh and I go by Crazy Person, Crazy for short. Aurther of some stories!**_

_**Long John: Aye. I be Long John Sliver captin of the Jolly Rodger...**_

_**Me: Ooooo! I love that candy!**_

_**Some random crew guy: AHHHHH! KRAKEN!**_

_**Long John: Oh no! Not 1 D!**_

_**1D: You don't know your beautiful!**_

_**All Parites and me: NOOOOOO! WHHHHY?!**_

_**Me: Quick load the cannons!**_

_**Long John: Oye, I be the captin of this vessil...SAMETHING AS THE LASS SAID!**_

_**After a bunch of failing with the cannons we decided to do the last thing...**_

_**Me: Johnny. You pondering what I'm pondering.**_

_**Long John: I think so Crazy, but how will we get a unicorn to do the macerena?**_

_**Me*Face palm.*: Not that. You KNOW.**_

_**Long John:...Hmmmm...OH! *Then we grab some cheese cakes and start to throw it at the horrible boy band.***_

_**Me and Long John: the power of cheese cake compleles you! The power of cheese cake compleles you!**_

_**Harry: QUICK! MAKE A RUN 'ACK TO 'ELL 'OYS!**_

_**De End~**_

** Me: and that's how me and Sliver met...**

**Erik: AND YOU GUYS THINK MY STORY IS MESSED UP!**

**Lady M. Raoul: Skunk Cake anyone?!**

**Me and Nick: Toe-toe?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Lady M. Raoul: What did I do.**

**Me: Well since we'll be morning the death of our pet skunk...**

**nick: Why?! WHHHHHY!**

**Juliet*Who is comforting the poor guy.*: shhhh, he's in a better place now. A place where he can spray anythinh he wants and not be worried about getting hit by a semi.**

**Me: If you liked these tales of glory please R&R, if you hate it Lady M. Raoul will cook you like he did to...TOE-TOE! *Starts to cry.***

**Nadir: wow, they were attached to that skunk...*Bitch slaps Lady M. Raoul.* YOU MOSNTER!**

**Me: *Sniff, sniff.* Well see ya'll on the flip page. *Sniff.* PEACE-age!**


	5. Christmas Shopping

**Chapter Five**

**Christmas Shopping**

**Lady M. Raoul: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPERS! *Throws Christine out the window.***

**Officer Meatiloaf: STOP OR I'LL USE THIS BUNNY ON YOU!**

**Bunny: Eh, whats up cop?**

**I bet you all are wondering how this happened...Well it all started when we decided to go to Walmart for Christmas shopping...**

**Me: Okay people and chipmunk! Finish your Christmas shopping up and we'll head back! Got it!**

**Everyone: Yes sargent Crazy Person , ma'am!**

**Me: that's Sargent Crazy Person, sir! To you bub-s!**

**Nadir: and the name fits her well..**

**Nick: Shut up and grab a shopping cart! *Then me and Juliet zoom by with our shopping carts with rockets on them.* NO FAIR!**

**Juliet: All's fair in love and Christmas shopping!**

**Me: What does love have to do with this?**

**Erik: HELLO!**

**Me: Shut up you melo-dramtic dram king of cheese!**

**Everyone:...**

**Erik:...I'll take that as a complement...**

***Okay so this is what happened when Erik and Juliet found the isle with candles...***

**The Two Phantoms: Must...have...CANDLES! *So they start stuffing loads of candles into their capes when...***

**A worker: Ahhh, you need to pay for that...**

**The two Phantoms*Slowly turning their heads with twitching eyes.*: What did you say mortal boy?! **

**Worker: ahhhh...**

**Pahntoms: DIE! *Then they takle the poor worker and try to kill him with their lassos. In the make-up isle...***

**Lady M. Raoul: Oooohhhh, this shade of red would make me SO sexy! *Starts shoving lipstick in his bra, I know disturbing right?***

**Christine: I think you need to pay for that hun.**

**Lady M. Raou: SILENCE! YOU ARE NOT A DRAG QUEEN LIKE MOI! I AM BETTER THAN YOU ALL! 8Then goes back to stuffing make up in his bra, still disturbing.. In the book isle...***

**Me: Hmmmm...Maybe I SHOULD set the Twilight books on fire...Ooohhh! Middle School Worst Years of My life! I can SO relate!**

***Movie isle..***

**Nick: Hmmmm...Man eating snake or man eating cheerleader. Why is this so freakin ha- Ohhhhh! Man eating fish! Eeeepppp!**

**JUST THEN! **

**Officer Meatloaf bursts in with a gaint stick of sailm-it's his gun, you perverts!**

**Officer Meatloaf: THOU SHALL NOT SHOP LIFT OR BURN MY FAVORITE BOOKS IN MY SECTION OF THE CITY!**

**Lady M. Raoul: Shit! The fuzz!**

**Me: MONSTER TRUCK! *Then what'd ya know Long John Silver's boat crashes through the wall, and not the forth wall this time.***

**Long John: Hop in before the good guy gets us!**

**Random Worker: Sir this is not a parking lot-**

**Jack Sparrow: SILENCE! *Then shoots the worker.***

**Me: Wait! We're missing Nadir!**

***In the bathroom...***

**Nadir: Ahhhhhhhhh...**

**Me* running into the guys bathroom, always wondered what that place looked like*: NADIR!**

**Nadir: AHHHH! Can a man take a piss in this store?!**

**Me: You can take a piss when we get home! The po-po's are on us! To the Jolly Rodger! *Spinny thing!***

**Erik: NADIR PULL UP YOUR FLY!**

**Long John: AYE! THERE A LASSISSE ON THIS SHIP!**

**Jack: AND I'M STRIAGHT!**

**Lady M. Raoul: awwwe, poo!**

**Officer Meatloaf*Who is riding a baby bird, hehe.*: Stop in the name of sasuge!**

**Everyone: DRIVE! *So now we are all on a high speed chase! and yes, we did throw the Opera Trash over board.***

**Me: Okay, I may want to be a homacide detecive but Imma gonna make a loupual for you! JULIET FIRE!**

**Then Juliet pulls out cannon and stuffs Chippy inside, then let's it rip!**

**Chippy*Who just lands on Officer Meatloaf.*: Hi Officer Willis!**

**Officer Meatloaf: AHHHHHH! RAT! RAT!**

**Chippy: I'll take that as a insult! *Then Meatloaf falls of his baby bird and into the sasuage felids below.***

**Officer Meatloaf: I FEEL SO GREESSSYYYYY!**

**Nick: We should never go Christmas shopping agian.**

**Naidr: Next time we order the crap from the inernet.**

**Me: Agreed. So if you liked this chapter R&R, if you hate it you'll join Officer Meatloaf in the sausge felid...**

**Officer Meatloaf: Still greasie!**

**Me: See ya'll on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	6. The End of the World Means no Christmas!

**Chapter Six**

**End of the World Means no Christmas! AHHHH!**

**Me and Juliet: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Erik: what's up with them?**

**Nadir: I think their whatching a merathon on the History Channel.**

**Nick: Oh, no...**

**Nadir and Erik*Like really scared now.*: What?!**

**Nick: Only time they whatch the History Channel is when...**

**Me: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!**

**Juliet: SAVE THE CHRISTMAS PRESEANTS!**

**Nick: Yeah, pretty much that.**

**Abe L. *He's still ontop of the tree people!*: Four score and seven hot dogs ago, my toliet ontop of this tree has been cloged by cottage cheese!**

**Juliet: AHHHH! ANOTHER SIGN!**

**Me: THAT TOLIET WAS NEVER SUPOSE TO BE COLGED UP!**

**Me and Juliet:AHHHHHHHHHH! *Then we start grabing all the preseants and Abe, and taking them into the buncer... Erik: THATS MY ROOM! Juliet:*Slaps he across the face.*: Shut up! Me: We're all gonna die!...Well maybe not Chippy, he's 1/10 cocraoch.***

**Erik: If I find a sracth on my organ you'll all be D-E-A-D!**

**Chippy: Ewwwww! Willis has a sick mind!**

**Erik:I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!...AND STOP CALLING ME WILLIS!**

**Chippy: Okay, Willis-etta!**

**Nadir:...Well you did tell him to stop calling you Willis...**

**Erik: UGH-AHHHHH! MORE SOUNDS OF DRAMA! *Me throwing a tin can at his head to shut him up.***

**Me: Shut up and get in the buncer!**

**Nick: Hold on!*Runs to my study-he's lucky I'm panicing right now!- and find's my "Extreme Survial" Book.* JUST IN CASE!**

**Erik: I'm suronded by loonies!**

**Bugs Bunny: Eh, what's up Phantom?**

**Erik;...Get out of my house.**

**Me*Throwing a safe at his head.*: MY HOUSE BUB!**

**Erik: I HATE YOU!**

**Me: SAME TO YOU IN SPANISH, BUB!**

**Nadir: Will you two stop fighting or I'll kill you before the end of the world happens!**

**Chippy: Willis is right other Willis's! Tonight we act like cave-Willis-es!**

**Me: Way a head of you on that...**

**Long John*Crashing through another wall.*: A-hoy! Just wanted to see if you need anything.**

**Nick: Got any big guns?**

**Long John: Depends on which one you mean...**

**Juliet: THIS IS NO TIME FOR BEING A PERVERT!**

**Lady M. Raoul: Wait, I'm the pervert here!**

**Nadir, Erik, me and Nick: Just our luck. *Then Juliet slaps us acrossed the face***

**Long John: well I'll see you later...Maybe. *Lighting bolt for dramtic effect!***

**Me: Okay, all the Christmas stuff...**

**Abe: AND ME!**

**Me: And Abe is in the basement/ buncker.**

**Erik: My organ better be okay...**

**Once where down there all the guys-who did not panic like us women who are naturaly smarter then men-are looking around to see Erik's and Juliet's room turned into a hugh buncker but decorated festivly!**

**All the dudes: How the...Huh?**

**Me and Juliet: It's a girl thing, you wouldn't understand.**

**Me: Well, it seem's we may be celerbarting Christmas in a buncker. If you liked this chapter R&R, if you hate it I hope you dont survie the end of the world...**

**Nick: She dosen't mean it, she didn't take her medication(Which is suger pills)...**

**Me*Hiting him with a crow bar.*: I hope your one of the people that don't survie bub! Well see ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	7. Nicks In Charge!

**Chapter Seven**

**Nick's In Charge!**

**Juliet*Lookin for my sista*: Crazy! Craaaaazy! Wheeerrreeee rrrrr yaaaa?!**

**Nick: She left'd a note for us! *Everyone run around to see what my mistical note says.***

_**Note: Hey guys! Imma livin' Nick in charge cause Im workin on my Ice Age FF. Be back for the next chapta'. From C.P 2671. PS. Tell Long John that I will not need Viking Ship for today...**_

**Erik: ...She left us for some other story?!**

**Nadir: What sick auther is she?!**

**Nick: Well, Crazy does like to do multiple things at once...BUT WHO CARES! IMMA GONNA BE INCHRAGE-A!**

***Everyone lookin at him in horror.***

**Nadir: OMA! He's talkin Italian!**

**Juliet and Erik: And things are gonna be boring in this chapter. *Cue...MASS PANIC!***

**Fictional charcaters: AHHHHHHHH! WE NEED CRAZY! WE NEED CRAZY! AHHHHHH!**

**Nick*Glaring at everyone before bringing my magical staff down and freezing them in place, then in a all powerful voice he goes: Shut thy trp or bacon do-do shall fall on thy heads!**

**Nadir:...You know, this could be intresting.**

**Lady M. Raoul: I have arriv-Oh! Man-cicles! *Then Nadir and Erik are hopping there frozen twinkie's as far from the crazed tranny as possible.***

**Juliet: can you un freze me now?**

**Nick: Yeah, yeah. *Un-frozen-ness! Can't take "-age" or sis would kill me.* So how are we supose to tell Silver bout the vik- *Just then Long John Silver crashes throught 9th wall-yes there is a 9th wall- with a Viking ship! Okay, I gotta talk to sis about what the heck is she planning.***

**Long John: A-hoy! Hinga-floga-garnden!**

**Everyone:... ... ...**

**Erik*now un frozen.*: Ahhhh, Long John...**

**Long John: Yeeeesss Opera Trash chaser.**

**Christine: I AM NOT- *Long John holds up a poster of the demon Justin Bevier-as my sister would say: EWWWWW!* COME HERE DAMN IT!*Then the Opera Trash leaps on the poster and makes out with it...Ewwww.***

**Erik:...Did the one legged parite just call me a Opera Trash Chaser?**

**Juliet: He said it cause it's ture.**

**Erik: Remind me to kill you sister. *Lighting strikes him.***

**Nick: I think she heard that...**

**Me: YES I DID!**

**Nick: Anyway, Long John we dont need the viking ship for today.**

**Long John: Awwwww, why?**

**Nadir: Crazy left us for a different story... *grumble, grumble.***

**Nick: She leave for a day and you all think she abadion us?!**

**Fictional chracters: CAUSE SHE DID!**

**Long John*Whiping out his gun crying out like a mad man.*: MUTIANY! MUTIANY I SAY!**

**Juliet: Let's join the parite ship!**

**Juliet and Nadir*Now dressed as parites*: YEAH!**

**Nick:Oh man! Sis is gonna be pissed at me!**

**Chippy: Big time Willis...**

**Nick: I guess I should end here or Sis WILL kill me. If you liked this chapter R&R, if you hate it...**

**Long John: It will be considered mutainy and we'll make you walk the plank into a tank of rabid sharks!**

**Erik, Juliet and Nadir: YEAH! I mean...AYE!**

**Nick: No wonder sis hangs out with him. As my sister would say: See ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	8. I Left and Bacon Santa Is Kidnapped!

**Chapter Eight**

**I Left and Bacon Santa Was Kindnapped?!**

**Me*Walking into my home: I'm baaa-WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN TO MY HOUSE?!**

**Everyone*Stops to look at me*: Noooottthin'.**

**Long John*Who is most likley the only one that cares, ahhh no wonder I lo-LIKE! I MEAN LIKE HIM!*: How was ye trip in making another story in another catagory?**

**Me: Epic fail! Never doing that agian. Well what happen while I was gone?**

**Everyone:...Nothin'. *Just then a rock hit's Christine on her head and it just bonces off.***

**Christine: My head is made out of rubber!**

**Juliet: That explianed why I tried to electriute her it didn't work...**

**Christine: What?**

**Juliet: NOTHIN!**

**Me*GASP!*: NO! NO!**

**Erik: What is it?**

**Me*Now crying.*: It can't be ture!**

**Nadir and Erik: WHAT?!**

**Me: Santa Bacon has been kidnapped by ginger bread dudes and evil snowmen!**

**Fictional Chracters: Say what?!**

**Nick: You guy's didn't know Santa Clause it really made from bacon?**

**Me: I'M SURONDED BY IDOTS!**

**Erik: Or NORMAL people.**

**Me: SILENCE MORTAL FOOL! *Then a really hot bowl of soup pours on his and he runs around screaming his head off.***

**Erik: THESE ARE HONEY GLAZED BUNS, PEOPLE! NOT BISCUTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Me: Wuss. I got bitten my a radoticve spider and I turned out fine!**

**Juliet: You mean spider man.**

**Nadir: Wait! Maybe she IS spider man.**

**Erik*Now not as wussy*: Or iiiissss she?**

**Long John: Is she?**

**Me: Ahhh no. *HA! HAD MY FINGER'S CROSSED!***

**Nick: So how are we gonna save Santa?**

**Me: JOHNNY GET THE VIKING SHIP! EVERYONE ELSE PUT SOME BEARDS ON! *So we all get on the viking ship with totaly awesome beards on! Then we set off to save Santa!***

**Everyone: Hinda-garda-floogan! I lost my Puddan!**

**To be contuied...**


	9. I WILL EAT YOU GINGER BREAD DUDES!

**Chapter Nine**

**I Will Eat U Ginger Bread Dudes!**

**Me: Are we there yet?**

**erik: No.**

**Me:...r we there yet.**

**Erik: No!**

**Me:... ... R we-**

**Erik: YES! WE R THERE!**

**Nick: Well somebody's a bit pissy.**

**Erik*Glaring at Nick*: I hate you all!**

**Juliet: HEY!**

**Erik: All but you darling.**

**Juliet: that's what I thought. *Then starts grumbling about men and that they have no brains, in this case it's ture.***

**Nadir: what's the game plan? *Everyone turns and looks at me.***

**Me:... ...What?**

**Erik: You're tell us you dont have plan?!**

**Me: and you've known me how long to figure that out?...**

**All the men: WE'RE DOOMED! *Then they start running around and running over dafensless chicken nuggets.***

**Chicken nugget lady: SAVE MY BABY! *Squash!***

**The King of Chicken Nuggets: I SAY! STOP STOMPING ON MY PEOPLE-AHHHHHHHHHHHH! *Sqaush!***

**Juliet: We should switch their brains with gorilla's.**

**Me: couldn't agree more hun. *Now pulling out my plazma gun I shoot Christine in her rubber head and it bounces of and hit's the tranny in the buttocks.***

**Lady M. Raoul: AHHHH!...*Sniff, sniff.*" Why do I smell Bar BQ with a side of sparkled covered semian?**

**Me: Okay pple, I may have no plan, and I may not be good a spelling shit, but Hobo dang it! We are gonna save that strip of Bacon and save Christmas! Who's with me?**

***Crickets.***

**Me: You guy's are total assholes you know that.**

**Erik: And we wouldn't have it anyother way!**

**Juliet: You know what? I'm gonna join ya.**

**Erik: Please Mon Ange! Dont join this psyhco!**

**Juliet*Slapping him with a racoon*: Silence!**

**Chippy*With a chainsaw.*: I'm with ya!**

**Nick: I'm just coming cause Ma made me in charge.**

**Nadir: last time you where in charge everything was boring!**

**Me: *GASP!* How DARE you make my story boring! *Slaps him with Christine.* and I thought we where twins!**

**Erik: You all a crazy!**

**Me: And you're a pansy, now let's stop pointing out the obvious before Erik tip's his hooker...**

**Erik*Gasp!*: How did you know that?!**

**Lady M. Raoul*Holdin' up my lap top.*: It's all over Twitter.**

**Erik*On his knees screaming at the sky.*: DAMN YOU TWITTER!**

**Me: Let's just save Santa so I can go home and be driven slowly into madness.**

**So we head off towards the fortess of soulitude-apparntly Superman rented that place out while he was on a vaction. We see some evil snowmen with snowball bazuca's standin there with pink wigs!**

**Lady M. Raoul: Let me handle this. *Walks up to the snowmen.***

**Snowmen #1: What'd you want?**

**Lady M. Raoul *Now with a spot light on him.*: Ra-ra-ah-ah! Snow-ow-man! La-la-moo-ma-ma! I turn you into a snow cone!**

**Snowman #2: AHHHH! MAKE IT STOP! *Then they all melt into pudle's.***

**Juliet: that was easier than I thought.**

**Me*With a sword*: SPPPAAAAAARRRRTTTTAAAAA!**

**Everyone gives Spartan war cry's and we break into the fortess and where instantly srounded by Ginger Bread Dudes .**

**Me, Juliet and Chippy: I WILL EAT U GINGER BREAD DUDES!**

**Ginger Bread Dudes: Oh crap!**

***Then me, Juliet and Chippy attack the cookies, and eats them ALIVE!***

**The three of us: BUUUUUUURRRRP!**

**Nadir: Increadly distrubing dude.**

**Santa Bacon: SAVE ME! **

**Me*Sniff, sniff.*:... I.. Smell.. BACOOOOOOOON! *then We use Nadir's awesome Persian mind powers to break down the door and we see a evil wizard holding the festive pecie of bacon over a boiling pot of wax.***

**Santa Bacon: STOP THIS DUDE! HE's INSANE!**

**Me and Nick: Uncle Joe?**

**Everyone: Whhhhhaaaaaay?!**

**Uncle Joe: YES! I have desyored Christmas!**

**Nadir: Why?**

**Joe: CAUSE I CAN!**

**Erik: wow, this guy is pure evil... I STILL HATE YOU SANTA!**

**Santa: YOU TOO LITTLE GIRL!**

**Erik: I AM NOT LITTE NOR A GIRL!**

**Lady M. Raoul: I'm a litte girl!**

**Juliet*With a launcher with chippy stuffed in it.***

**Chippy: FIRE WILLIS! *Then she shoot's the crazed chipmunk at uncle Joe.* Hi Willis!**

**Joe: AHHHHH! CHIPPY! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU!**

**Chippy*In a deep evil voice*: I NEVER DIE! *then eat's uncle joe in one bit.* Buuuuurp!**

**Me and Nadir: Disturbing.**

**Santa Bacon: thank you for saving my crispy life.**

**Me: you're lucky you're santa or you'd be in my stomach by now!**

**Juliet: I second that.**

**Chippy: Imma cannible. 8P**

**Erik*Slowly backing away from Chippy.***

**Santa: Come, I'll drop you off with my corvett! *Then a red corvett pulls up and we all jump in.***

**Nadir: wow, if that 5 horse powerd?**

**Santa: Nope, eight Raindeer Powered!**

***Crickets.***

**Me: Yeah, this story if full of horible jokes. So hoped ya'll liked this chapter, if ya did R&R. If you hate it Bacon Santa wont let you drive his crovett. See ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


	10. A Very Merry Rock Candy Christmas-BYE!

**Chapter Ten **

** A Very Merry Rock Candy Christmas**

**Me: YES! Our last chapter. :(**

**Juliet, Nadir,Chippy and Nick: Awwwwe...**

**Erik:YES! YES! FINALLY!**

**Juliet: Shut up! We still live in there basment!**

**Nick: Free laoders...**

**Me: Just like Mamma use to say. Anyway we a broad casting from the rock candy glaxy...**

**Nadir: And christisn has been sucked into a coma due to a rock candy astroide smashed into her rubber head.**

**Juliet: Pfff. Bout time.**

**Me: Any way, I didn't really plan anything so we all came to say...**

**Everyone: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.*Cheesy, yes. Just take what you get!***

**Me: See ya on the flip page! PEACE-age!**


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